(A silly poem about coming home from an open mic. The mic was awesome btw.)
A great open mic turned into a terrible night as I waited after I played for the bus to come my way. In the freezing cold I waited for the bus belated to take me to the cherry of the Staten Island Ferry.
Through unknown territory I trekked the distance, growing warmth walking through insistence. Bold determination holding my invigoration as I marched gallantly, rushing like a cavalry.
Beat out the bus or I'd feel stupid. Kicking back dust as I slowly burned lipids. Terrified of my surroundings but proud of my resolve as I was justified in the resoundings that familiar buildings were about me.
This twenty-minute walk of a mile's convenient thought raced my heart in seconds. A lenient bus now chased like a dart with "out of service" flashing at me, laughing.
Finally, I made it to the terminal, kindly I waited in deep inferno. Death mixed with black, metal's crisp abrasive attack. Cannibal Corpse's fathomable forced merger with Cradle of Filth's chasm of coarse surgical fervor could not adequately describe satisfactorily, the hell in which I'd just dwelled.
Sat down now feeling warmth from arrival, looked south, down from the ceiling, to a recognizable glance, of bird shit, on my pants.
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Sunday, December 26, 2010
The McDonald's Truck
So a month or two ago I decided to go out and play some music at an open mic at Webster Hall in Manhattan, New York. As always it was a good night and I rocked the house. What had more significance to me however was a truck that I happened by on my way to the train station. It was a delivery truck that, in my wildest dreams, I never thought I'd see... Much less read what was written on the side of the truck. Parked outside a McDonald's... was this:
That's right. What you see in this picture is a truck delivering the latest shipment of diabetes to a McDonald's restaurant. Use your imagination when you read the word "restaurant." When I saw this truck I started thinking about number of things. "Thanks to this truck Wilford Brimley is now a celebrity"..."Dear god there is an "M" on the thing that blocks dirt from shooting out from the back of the wheel as it's speeding down the highway to deliver trans fats, how nice of them to prevent accidents on a highway ::nods head::"...and the last thing I thought was, "Wait, what does the side of the truck say? Let me get closer and voila:
Wow..."contents inside: fresh." Okay, I don't even know where to begin describing all the things that are wrong with this statement. I suppose they could be theoretically fresh, and frozen, and kept contained, but seriously?!! FRESH?!! There are many ways that people may choose to describe McDonald's food. "Bad." "Unhealthy." "Makes your stomach hurt if you eat it and you're past the age of 18." "Salty." "Contains animal feces." Never though would you ever find someone confidently use the word "fresh" to describe a McDonald's food product. I honestly don't know what else I could say with regards to that one term.
At this point I was honestly baffled at what I'd seen, but also sure that this experience couldn't get any more gross... I was wrong... Behold:
This picture looks like vomit. I'm not talking about a little stomach flu, I'm talking about full-fledged all night binge-drinking vomit that you find in the morning. You know the kind you wake up next to on the bed thinking, "thank god I sleep on my side." I suppose it could look like glue as well? Maybe it could even look the fat that was sucked out of a person who eats too much McDonald's, during liposuction. My friend Clif said it looked like an anus? I could probably vouch for him on that. This is not a picture of any of those things though. It is a picture of McDonald's... food... I think... I can't really imagine why the McDonald's corporation would put a picture of this "food" on the side of their truck though. Usually the picture that you post to the public eye should be enticing. Not one that would make a child from Somalia, or any other third-world country, go: "You know what, I can walk another block to find something else... or, actually, I don't know, someone just threw something into the trash can at the end of the block and it looked better than this roadkill."
That's right. What you see in this picture is a truck delivering the latest shipment of diabetes to a McDonald's restaurant. Use your imagination when you read the word "restaurant." When I saw this truck I started thinking about number of things. "Thanks to this truck Wilford Brimley is now a celebrity"..."Dear god there is an "M" on the thing that blocks dirt from shooting out from the back of the wheel as it's speeding down the highway to deliver trans fats, how nice of them to prevent accidents on a highway ::nods head::"...and the last thing I thought was, "Wait, what does the side of the truck say? Let me get closer and voila:
Wow..."contents inside: fresh." Okay, I don't even know where to begin describing all the things that are wrong with this statement. I suppose they could be theoretically fresh, and frozen, and kept contained, but seriously?!! FRESH?!! There are many ways that people may choose to describe McDonald's food. "Bad." "Unhealthy." "Makes your stomach hurt if you eat it and you're past the age of 18." "Salty." "Contains animal feces." Never though would you ever find someone confidently use the word "fresh" to describe a McDonald's food product. I honestly don't know what else I could say with regards to that one term.
At this point I was honestly baffled at what I'd seen, but also sure that this experience couldn't get any more gross... I was wrong... Behold:
This picture looks like vomit. I'm not talking about a little stomach flu, I'm talking about full-fledged all night binge-drinking vomit that you find in the morning. You know the kind you wake up next to on the bed thinking, "thank god I sleep on my side." I suppose it could look like glue as well? Maybe it could even look the fat that was sucked out of a person who eats too much McDonald's, during liposuction. My friend Clif said it looked like an anus? I could probably vouch for him on that. This is not a picture of any of those things though. It is a picture of McDonald's... food... I think... I can't really imagine why the McDonald's corporation would put a picture of this "food" on the side of their truck though. Usually the picture that you post to the public eye should be enticing. Not one that would make a child from Somalia, or any other third-world country, go: "You know what, I can walk another block to find something else... or, actually, I don't know, someone just threw something into the trash can at the end of the block and it looked better than this roadkill."
Friday, December 10, 2010
Mating rituals of a snake
So, many people don't know this but the male snake's reproductive organ is not located on the outer part of it's body. How does it go about procreation you may ask. I will now take the liberty of answering your question having no scientific evidence and having done no research to back up my claim:
The male snake must find a female to its liking. This is the easy part. Now it must court her...It does so by showing superiority against humanity and tricking Eve into eating an Apple. The snake then sings "I got no legs!!! I got no legs!!!"
Alright no more bible references. The male snake is at a disadvantage since it cannot speak and therefore must prove it's masculinity to the female snake in the most curious manner. It must slither its way into the female's mouth so that the female can determine whether or not the circumference and diameter of the male snake's body is worthy of her offspring. This process by the female is called "Deep Throating."
Next, after carrying out this difficult task of slithering into the female, it must now commence the backwards motion to exit the female through her mouth. It should be be noted that in order to aide the male in his exit of her body, the female goes through a series of contractions where fluid is produced which the male is forced to swallow. FYI The male must slither roughly halfway deep into the female snake's body to appropriately satisfy the female. This entire process is called "in and out."
After "in and out" is completed, and if the female is content with the male's width it is now the female's turn. She must slither into the male's body to reach his "tail end." Upon doing this, since the friction of feeling a female inside him is enough to properly arouse the male, the female must drink the ejaculatory fluid which is happily produced by the male from her journey within him.
It is now time to leave the male, which is a slow process due to the tight squeeze. It is also somewhat uncomfortable and unpleasant for the female as in order to do this the male must produce vomit to help the female to exit successfully from his body.
This is how babies are born. By the way, I'm bone sober.
The male snake must find a female to its liking. This is the easy part. Now it must court her...It does so by showing superiority against humanity and tricking Eve into eating an Apple. The snake then sings "I got no legs!!! I got no legs!!!"
Alright no more bible references. The male snake is at a disadvantage since it cannot speak and therefore must prove it's masculinity to the female snake in the most curious manner. It must slither its way into the female's mouth so that the female can determine whether or not the circumference and diameter of the male snake's body is worthy of her offspring. This process by the female is called "Deep Throating."
Next, after carrying out this difficult task of slithering into the female, it must now commence the backwards motion to exit the female through her mouth. It should be be noted that in order to aide the male in his exit of her body, the female goes through a series of contractions where fluid is produced which the male is forced to swallow. FYI The male must slither roughly halfway deep into the female snake's body to appropriately satisfy the female. This entire process is called "in and out."
After "in and out" is completed, and if the female is content with the male's width it is now the female's turn. She must slither into the male's body to reach his "tail end." Upon doing this, since the friction of feeling a female inside him is enough to properly arouse the male, the female must drink the ejaculatory fluid which is happily produced by the male from her journey within him.
It is now time to leave the male, which is a slow process due to the tight squeeze. It is also somewhat uncomfortable and unpleasant for the female as in order to do this the male must produce vomit to help the female to exit successfully from his body.
This is how babies are born. By the way, I'm bone sober.
Friday, December 3, 2010
Religion of Revolution
Corruption, corruption, corruption.
Lies, lies, lies.
Deception, deception, deception.
Why, why, why.
How could this happen?
The first time in history!!
A government revealed of blasphemy.
Now to face reality.
Ignorance plays upon those in warmth
Substance delays what the mind contorts.
A gossip columnist with a twist on authority
Feeding cotton candy to the vast majority.
As though this is a revelation,
Our lives so significantly altered.
Truth is, just a gross inhalation,
Destroying the perfection our minds have soldered.
Respect, or admire, so as to defend their action?
No. A crime is a crime without distraction.
Benefit and uprising to overthrow a faction?
No. Just a mere instigator to incite a reaction.
The irony is, it was a liberal who distributed
Incriminating evidence about a left-sided politician.
The world will now await to see these corrupt leaders fall.
So that we can then replace them with a regime to save us all.
A regime no doubt, which will stand,
For the virtues, of the common man.
A respectable group, that will have the right plan.
Restarting the loop, we will be given a guiding hand.
Since of course a new government,
Could NEVER be as bad.
The current politician with charisma and charm,
Will now be viewed with disturb and alarm.
The accomplishments made in the past three years,
Were all lies compared to what has now been made clear.
Finally making progress on a liberal agenda.
That's irrelevant with what will now be remembered.
A step toward healthcare and a more honorable tax,
Will lead us all to welfare with these new-found facts.
A new government will take hold.
That's as certain as wikileaks is bold.
But it will be one of a conservative nature,
Since compared to what we can now read...let's give them a waiver.
That will lead to more problems, since they are for business,
But look at these liberals though, and our new-found evidence!!
It's going to continue, this vicious cycle of apathy.
Both from our leaders, and those of anonymity.
Even if a new authority was founded,
One that for all intents and purposes, seemed grounded,
It would still ripen with decay,
As greed and self-interest would pave the way.
Through dynasties, through empires,
Through revolutions of burning embers.
Human nature has taken precedence,
Altruistically, of course, through the importance...
Of an idealist's relevance.
Lies, lies, lies.
Deception, deception, deception.
Why, why, why.
How could this happen?
The first time in history!!
A government revealed of blasphemy.
Now to face reality.
Ignorance plays upon those in warmth
Substance delays what the mind contorts.
A gossip columnist with a twist on authority
Feeding cotton candy to the vast majority.
As though this is a revelation,
Our lives so significantly altered.
Truth is, just a gross inhalation,
Destroying the perfection our minds have soldered.
Respect, or admire, so as to defend their action?
No. A crime is a crime without distraction.
Benefit and uprising to overthrow a faction?
No. Just a mere instigator to incite a reaction.
The irony is, it was a liberal who distributed
Incriminating evidence about a left-sided politician.
The world will now await to see these corrupt leaders fall.
So that we can then replace them with a regime to save us all.
A regime no doubt, which will stand,
For the virtues, of the common man.
A respectable group, that will have the right plan.
Restarting the loop, we will be given a guiding hand.
Since of course a new government,
Could NEVER be as bad.
The current politician with charisma and charm,
Will now be viewed with disturb and alarm.
The accomplishments made in the past three years,
Were all lies compared to what has now been made clear.
Finally making progress on a liberal agenda.
That's irrelevant with what will now be remembered.
A step toward healthcare and a more honorable tax,
Will lead us all to welfare with these new-found facts.
A new government will take hold.
That's as certain as wikileaks is bold.
But it will be one of a conservative nature,
Since compared to what we can now read...let's give them a waiver.
That will lead to more problems, since they are for business,
But look at these liberals though, and our new-found evidence!!
It's going to continue, this vicious cycle of apathy.
Both from our leaders, and those of anonymity.
Even if a new authority was founded,
One that for all intents and purposes, seemed grounded,
It would still ripen with decay,
As greed and self-interest would pave the way.
Through dynasties, through empires,
Through revolutions of burning embers.
Human nature has taken precedence,
Altruistically, of course, through the importance...
Of an idealist's relevance.
Thursday, December 2, 2010
Arsenic based life form? Oh, it's on now.
http://www.wired.com/wiredscience/2010/12/nasa-finds-new-life/
Scientists have discovered a life form on Earth that is actually Arsenic based. I will start off by saying that that's awesome, but let's let our minds wander a bit.
Arsenic can be used as poison to kill people and animals. Does that mean that this life form is immune to what kills humans. Have found a superior species? Have we discovered a species that in order to exact vengeance upon all other life forms all it needs to do is touch us. We have met a worthy adversary. They don't use guns. They use their wit and intellect and an inviting nature to get close to us, innocently give us a hug, and then BOOM GOES THE DYNAMITE we're dead. Oh yes, it's on now.
It's gonna be like mortal combat. We have to research what kills them and it's not guns since they'll just act like T-1000 from Terminator 2 and absorb the metal into themselves. That's right folks, arsenic is metallic in nature so it sees the common nature in bullets and assimilates it like the Borg in Star Trek. It's gonna be like Duke Nukem in this bitch. COME GET SOME!!!!
Oh wait did I forget to mention that these arsenic-based life forms are only microscopic bacteria. But does that make it worse. Let's discuss it... :)
Whereas if you have a life form that's the size of humans or a dog it can attack us and rub against us and kill us like by touching us if it's arsenic-based. But, if it's as small as a bacteria... I can seep into our blood stream and make us sick. If enough of them do that it can act like AIDS and rewire our immune system to create more of itself and we will turn into humanoid Arsenic Animals. We're doomed.
I do believe that our only defense is to start taking what old the elderly take for heart problems:
Nitroglycerin tablets. That's dynamite btw. If these bacteria can infiltrate us, we blow them up where they attack. Within us... We are the scene of the crime and war zone. It's like the movie Inception... except we're awake.
I do believe I have outdone myself with stupidity :D
Happy Channukah!!!!
Scientists have discovered a life form on Earth that is actually Arsenic based. I will start off by saying that that's awesome, but let's let our minds wander a bit.
Arsenic can be used as poison to kill people and animals. Does that mean that this life form is immune to what kills humans. Have found a superior species? Have we discovered a species that in order to exact vengeance upon all other life forms all it needs to do is touch us. We have met a worthy adversary. They don't use guns. They use their wit and intellect and an inviting nature to get close to us, innocently give us a hug, and then BOOM GOES THE DYNAMITE we're dead. Oh yes, it's on now.
It's gonna be like mortal combat. We have to research what kills them and it's not guns since they'll just act like T-1000 from Terminator 2 and absorb the metal into themselves. That's right folks, arsenic is metallic in nature so it sees the common nature in bullets and assimilates it like the Borg in Star Trek. It's gonna be like Duke Nukem in this bitch. COME GET SOME!!!!
Oh wait did I forget to mention that these arsenic-based life forms are only microscopic bacteria. But does that make it worse. Let's discuss it... :)
Whereas if you have a life form that's the size of humans or a dog it can attack us and rub against us and kill us like by touching us if it's arsenic-based. But, if it's as small as a bacteria... I can seep into our blood stream and make us sick. If enough of them do that it can act like AIDS and rewire our immune system to create more of itself and we will turn into humanoid Arsenic Animals. We're doomed.
I do believe that our only defense is to start taking what old the elderly take for heart problems:
Nitroglycerin tablets. That's dynamite btw. If these bacteria can infiltrate us, we blow them up where they attack. Within us... We are the scene of the crime and war zone. It's like the movie Inception... except we're awake.
I do believe I have outdone myself with stupidity :D
Happy Channukah!!!!
Sunday, November 28, 2010
Scientology - Hubbard's Genius
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T7EEOMbBIO8
So I have been fascinated by Scientology for a while. I don't believe in it for a second. I really don't put much stock in any religion. I am however fascinated by creator L. Ron Hubbard's genius and manipulation in creating it.
After I heard about so many celebrities who had accepted the "faith" as their own I decided I had to research it to discover just what it was all about.
In one video, a rare interview with creator Hubbard:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QG1Rhv18rOI
He himself explains that the prefix "scien" means "knowingness" and the suffix "ology" means "the study of." When you put these two terms together the name "scientology" literally means "the study of knowingness." The interviewer himself was confused by this response because it didn't really explain anything about the religion, upon first glance.
If you think about it more though you realize, since all of the "biblical texts" of scientology are written by Hubbard himself; and the word scientology literally means "the study of knowingness," by Hubbard's own indirect admission, the name of the religion implies that L. Ron Hubbard knows everything there is to know about everything. Furthermore, that he is a God of sorts and must be worshiped for his "knowingness." Lets take that one step further, if Hubbard himself is being worshiped, and a cult is any "religion" which worships a man who is STILL ALIVE. Scientology does qualify as a cult.
But how exactly do you get people to go along with this. I mean you can be manipulative but people still might figure it out. Enter in the "Thetan Meter" a.k.a. the way that Scientology tests your "Thetan Levels." In the interview, the interviewer explains these Thetan Meters in a voice over during B-Roll. They are ::drumroll:: glorified lie detectors. I'm serious. How does a lie detector work? It checks your pulse, and when most people lie their heart rate increases. I could not think of a more convenient way to trick people into thinking that they are filled with Thetans.
Here is how Scientology uses the lie detectors. To see how stressed you become when they talk to you. If the "Thetan Meter" goes crazy it means that you have a lot of Thetans in you and NEED to be calmed down. Most people are naturally tense when they are talking to people they don't know and will naturally have a higher pulse, this means that you have a higher Thetan Level and need to be helped by Scientology.
How does Scientology help you? By having you talk about your problems in a process called "auditing." What is auditing? Glorified therapy. That's it. Except it's not called therapy because Scientology is adamantly opposed to the medical practice of therapy. If you've ever been to therapy however, and it has worked for you, then you know full well about one of the things that therapy does (and this is not a bad thing). It allows you to trust in another person so that you can expose yourself.
Scientology audits you and has you expose yourself, gaining your full trust and therefore lowering your Thetan Levels (a.k.a. your heart rate). Oh yeah, and throughout the process they keep asking you for more and more money, in the interest of "helping you."
L. Ron Hubbard single-handedly created one of the most ingenious and manipulative ways to generate a profit for himself... Organized religion ;)
Personally, though I'm fully aware that it's full of shit... I think it's brilliant.
So I have been fascinated by Scientology for a while. I don't believe in it for a second. I really don't put much stock in any religion. I am however fascinated by creator L. Ron Hubbard's genius and manipulation in creating it.
After I heard about so many celebrities who had accepted the "faith" as their own I decided I had to research it to discover just what it was all about.
In one video, a rare interview with creator Hubbard:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QG1Rhv18rOI
He himself explains that the prefix "scien" means "knowingness" and the suffix "ology" means "the study of." When you put these two terms together the name "scientology" literally means "the study of knowingness." The interviewer himself was confused by this response because it didn't really explain anything about the religion, upon first glance.
If you think about it more though you realize, since all of the "biblical texts" of scientology are written by Hubbard himself; and the word scientology literally means "the study of knowingness," by Hubbard's own indirect admission, the name of the religion implies that L. Ron Hubbard knows everything there is to know about everything. Furthermore, that he is a God of sorts and must be worshiped for his "knowingness." Lets take that one step further, if Hubbard himself is being worshiped, and a cult is any "religion" which worships a man who is STILL ALIVE. Scientology does qualify as a cult.
But how exactly do you get people to go along with this. I mean you can be manipulative but people still might figure it out. Enter in the "Thetan Meter" a.k.a. the way that Scientology tests your "Thetan Levels." In the interview, the interviewer explains these Thetan Meters in a voice over during B-Roll. They are ::drumroll:: glorified lie detectors. I'm serious. How does a lie detector work? It checks your pulse, and when most people lie their heart rate increases. I could not think of a more convenient way to trick people into thinking that they are filled with Thetans.
Here is how Scientology uses the lie detectors. To see how stressed you become when they talk to you. If the "Thetan Meter" goes crazy it means that you have a lot of Thetans in you and NEED to be calmed down. Most people are naturally tense when they are talking to people they don't know and will naturally have a higher pulse, this means that you have a higher Thetan Level and need to be helped by Scientology.
How does Scientology help you? By having you talk about your problems in a process called "auditing." What is auditing? Glorified therapy. That's it. Except it's not called therapy because Scientology is adamantly opposed to the medical practice of therapy. If you've ever been to therapy however, and it has worked for you, then you know full well about one of the things that therapy does (and this is not a bad thing). It allows you to trust in another person so that you can expose yourself.
Scientology audits you and has you expose yourself, gaining your full trust and therefore lowering your Thetan Levels (a.k.a. your heart rate). Oh yeah, and throughout the process they keep asking you for more and more money, in the interest of "helping you."
L. Ron Hubbard single-handedly created one of the most ingenious and manipulative ways to generate a profit for himself... Organized religion ;)
Personally, though I'm fully aware that it's full of shit... I think it's brilliant.
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
My song Midnight
So now to tell you that in addition to writing about whatever comes to my mind. I also play music. I have been playing the guitar since I was 15 and delved heavily into jazz, and classical, and progressive styles of music. I play open mics around New York and the first song that I ever played as a solo artist was a song I wrote called Midnight.
On Midnight I use a looping pedal to make it sound like there is more going since I have no other artists backing me, and also, I don't sing (at least didn't then). Regardless, I have just posted video footage of me playing my song Midnight with the use of effects pedals as well.
In order to record any video I am very strict about the idea of doing the entire video in one take only. There are so many artists editing their shit with pro-tools it depressed me that they couldn't mimic it live. So my recording process is a response to that. My song Midnight took me at least 20 different takes before I nailed it to my satisfaction. Making sure the lighting was right, that I didn't fuck up the notes, that I didn't accidentally curse, cough or breathe. Making sure that my timing was right. Everything was subject to scrutiny. Think "Murphy's Law" but times a billion. Anyway here's a link to the finished product.
www.youtube.com/stopmotionsolo
I also have a facebook fan page under called "Stop Motion solo"
I have a facebook group called "Get down with Stop Motion"
I have another facebook group called "Stop Motion Rocks"
The video is available at all those locations, so check it out.
On Midnight I use a looping pedal to make it sound like there is more going since I have no other artists backing me, and also, I don't sing (at least didn't then). Regardless, I have just posted video footage of me playing my song Midnight with the use of effects pedals as well.
In order to record any video I am very strict about the idea of doing the entire video in one take only. There are so many artists editing their shit with pro-tools it depressed me that they couldn't mimic it live. So my recording process is a response to that. My song Midnight took me at least 20 different takes before I nailed it to my satisfaction. Making sure the lighting was right, that I didn't fuck up the notes, that I didn't accidentally curse, cough or breathe. Making sure that my timing was right. Everything was subject to scrutiny. Think "Murphy's Law" but times a billion. Anyway here's a link to the finished product.
www.youtube.com/stopmotionsolo
I also have a facebook fan page under called "Stop Motion solo"
I have a facebook group called "Get down with Stop Motion"
I have another facebook group called "Stop Motion Rocks"
The video is available at all those locations, so check it out.
Monday, November 22, 2010
Computers of the future
So I found this article about what our computers might look like in 10 years:
http://daol.aol.com/articles/future-computers?icid=main%7Caim%7Cdl10%7Csec1_lnk3%7C174627
It also got me thinking, which always leads to trouble. If computers are getting so much smaller so fast, and technology wont stop evolving anytime soon at all, what might computers of the distant future look like?
We're already investing in the predecessors of nanotechnology. Even the Nintendo Wii is motion sensitive and interactive. From what I understand the new version of the XBox will have a sensor that detects your movements to the point that you could actually dance in real life and have your actions mimicked by the game system on-screen. If this is all now what happens when computers are inside us?
Literally, inside us!! Having chips inside our bodies which interact with the web and with other electronic devices. These days we have blackberries, iPhones and whatever else with access to the internet and can upload and download files from a computer at home if it's online already. Imagine though what it might be like if we didn't need those hand held devices at all. Instead, all we'd need is a small implant in our brain that reacts to what we think (I'm hoping it isn't used for mind control that can tap into our brains if our brains can tap into the web but that comes later).
Just imagine walking around in the middle of a forest and thinking "Crap I'm lost and I have no idea where that landmark I was going to visit is... Wait, problem solved 'address application tourism: find Insert destination.'" Then without a second to waste you are delivered a mental picture (via chip implant via internet access) of your exact location and location of what you wanted to find and it's distance to you. All you'd have to do is THINK "zoom in, zoom out" or "scroll left, scroll right" for more logistics. You could even think for the quickest route to get there or if there are any obstacles in your way. Shit, you could probably ask if there was a dangerous animal that you would have to avoid. Maybe you could download hunting lessons to learn to kill said animal if you were starving and in need of food.
With this apps, if you happen to be a good computer hacker (of the future's standards), you could read other people's minds. Worse, your "friend" could control your actions and influence your thoughts by breaking your mental firewall and literally hacking your brain.
To stretch it even further what happens when they discover how to combine human DNA and Artificial DNA. By the way, they recently were able to synthesize half-artificial DNA in a laboratory. See for yourself:
http://www.scientificcomputing.com/news-IN-A-Step-to-Artificial-Life-Manmade-DNA-Powers-Cell-052410.aspx
This could theoretically be the first ancestor of cyborgs.
Obviously, I've completely gone off the deep end here and I'm fully aware of it. I can't say though that anything I've said so far ISN'T theoretically possible. Mind hackers... or literally having ALL THE KNOWLEDGE of the world within the mind's reach. I'm curious to say the least.
http://daol.aol.com/articles/future-computers?icid=main%7Caim%7Cdl10%7Csec1_lnk3%7C174627
It also got me thinking, which always leads to trouble. If computers are getting so much smaller so fast, and technology wont stop evolving anytime soon at all, what might computers of the distant future look like?
We're already investing in the predecessors of nanotechnology. Even the Nintendo Wii is motion sensitive and interactive. From what I understand the new version of the XBox will have a sensor that detects your movements to the point that you could actually dance in real life and have your actions mimicked by the game system on-screen. If this is all now what happens when computers are inside us?
Literally, inside us!! Having chips inside our bodies which interact with the web and with other electronic devices. These days we have blackberries, iPhones and whatever else with access to the internet and can upload and download files from a computer at home if it's online already. Imagine though what it might be like if we didn't need those hand held devices at all. Instead, all we'd need is a small implant in our brain that reacts to what we think (I'm hoping it isn't used for mind control that can tap into our brains if our brains can tap into the web but that comes later).
Just imagine walking around in the middle of a forest and thinking "Crap I'm lost and I have no idea where that landmark I was going to visit is... Wait, problem solved 'address application tourism: find Insert destination.'" Then without a second to waste you are delivered a mental picture (via chip implant via internet access) of your exact location and location of what you wanted to find and it's distance to you. All you'd have to do is THINK "zoom in, zoom out" or "scroll left, scroll right" for more logistics. You could even think for the quickest route to get there or if there are any obstacles in your way. Shit, you could probably ask if there was a dangerous animal that you would have to avoid. Maybe you could download hunting lessons to learn to kill said animal if you were starving and in need of food.
With this apps, if you happen to be a good computer hacker (of the future's standards), you could read other people's minds. Worse, your "friend" could control your actions and influence your thoughts by breaking your mental firewall and literally hacking your brain.
To stretch it even further what happens when they discover how to combine human DNA and Artificial DNA. By the way, they recently were able to synthesize half-artificial DNA in a laboratory. See for yourself:
http://www.scientificcomputing.com/news-IN-A-Step-to-Artificial-Life-Manmade-DNA-Powers-Cell-052410.aspx
This could theoretically be the first ancestor of cyborgs.
Obviously, I've completely gone off the deep end here and I'm fully aware of it. I can't say though that anything I've said so far ISN'T theoretically possible. Mind hackers... or literally having ALL THE KNOWLEDGE of the world within the mind's reach. I'm curious to say the least.
Friday, November 19, 2010
Cows Eating Food
So it's considered a sin in some religions to the eat meat of an animal which does not chew its own cud. I never really thought about this until recently... I also did not know what "cud" meant. I thought it was like a "biblical" way of pronouncing the word "cub." That didn't make any sense either but I didn't really care enough. Now that I have a blog though, OHHHHH it's on now :).
Okay, so a cow chews its own cud. They eat grass, or whatever their eventual butchers give them to eat, swallow the grass, then it digests, then they puke up what they just digested, and then they chew that which they just puked up some more before swallowing it to their second stomach. Cows have two stomachs if you didn't know.
This means that a cow chews its own vomit, literally. To each their own and I'm glad I don't deal with cows but can you imagine how much their breath must stink? Not only that but can you imagine how a cow feels when it eats. I can just imagine with every chewing motion the cow keeps thinking the same exact thing "::crunch:: yuck ::crunch:: yuck ::crunch:: yuck ::crunch:: yuck." Then it has to swallow it.
Granted this does kill any bacteria that's in the grass already twice as hard and I'm sure it means that the cow does in fact have a fairly healthy body but still, if you thought grass tasted bad in the first place, be glad you're not a cow!!
Okay, so a cow chews its own cud. They eat grass, or whatever their eventual butchers give them to eat, swallow the grass, then it digests, then they puke up what they just digested, and then they chew that which they just puked up some more before swallowing it to their second stomach. Cows have two stomachs if you didn't know.
This means that a cow chews its own vomit, literally. To each their own and I'm glad I don't deal with cows but can you imagine how much their breath must stink? Not only that but can you imagine how a cow feels when it eats. I can just imagine with every chewing motion the cow keeps thinking the same exact thing "::crunch:: yuck ::crunch:: yuck ::crunch:: yuck ::crunch:: yuck." Then it has to swallow it.
Granted this does kill any bacteria that's in the grass already twice as hard and I'm sure it means that the cow does in fact have a fairly healthy body but still, if you thought grass tasted bad in the first place, be glad you're not a cow!!
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Bees - The Original Suicide Bombers
So I was stung by a bee a few weeks ago and that shit really hurt like hell. It even brought back a fear of bees that had taken me some 15 years to get over (I was stung in the ear when I was like 10). After the initial screaming, pain and figuring out how to deal with it (which was easy) I got to thinking about what the bee's perspective was.
You know they die when they sting you, and most people I'm guessing have been stung by a bee at some point in their lives. That's a lot of bees that have committed suicide through sting. Obviously they don't have as much common sense as people would but at the same time you have to wonder, what makes them sting you?
Are they trying to protect their colony? Protect their honey? Yes, that's it!!! It's a Jihad for honey, and you know what, I don't blame them. That shit tastes good. God knows I already pour myself spoonfuls of honey and eat it, with nothing to complement. I'd punch someone if they tried to take my honey, just ask a friend, and that's just because I like the TASTE of it. Imagine, these bees actually MAKE the honey. For one, that's just talented. For a two, any mother in the world would destroy the man that tried to take their CHILD, and that's for a child, you can't eat them, honey you CAN eat, and it tastes GREAT. NO WONDER BEES KILL YOU FOR IT? They've been onto something this entire time. Millions of years of stinging you and dying in the process. All to protect a their precious nectar... can't say I blame them.
A spoonful of sugar makes the medicine go down? Well you know what, a spoonful of honey makes EVERYTHING turn around!!!!
Also, you have to think about it in terms of proportion, bees are a lot smaller than humans are. Imagine they were larger, they probably wouldn't die. It's all just a matter of size and the means at your disposal. All to protect their beloved creation, or is it secretion, eh who knows, but I certainly wouldn't sympathize if they were dying to protect their fecal matter. I mean that's just gross. It'd be like a human reaching into the toilet bowl after he/she took a shit and storing it in the freezer, then getting gun license, purchasing a gun, and threatening to shoot themselves if anyone came close to the frozen shit in the freezer.
Well I hope it's their creation, though we create our own shit... Regardless, all this talk about a Jihad for honey has put me in the mood... I'm getting some God Damned honey. Be just like when I was a baby and my mom would pretend the spoon was an airplane flying into my mouth... Good times.
You know they die when they sting you, and most people I'm guessing have been stung by a bee at some point in their lives. That's a lot of bees that have committed suicide through sting. Obviously they don't have as much common sense as people would but at the same time you have to wonder, what makes them sting you?
Are they trying to protect their colony? Protect their honey? Yes, that's it!!! It's a Jihad for honey, and you know what, I don't blame them. That shit tastes good. God knows I already pour myself spoonfuls of honey and eat it, with nothing to complement. I'd punch someone if they tried to take my honey, just ask a friend, and that's just because I like the TASTE of it. Imagine, these bees actually MAKE the honey. For one, that's just talented. For a two, any mother in the world would destroy the man that tried to take their CHILD, and that's for a child, you can't eat them, honey you CAN eat, and it tastes GREAT. NO WONDER BEES KILL YOU FOR IT? They've been onto something this entire time. Millions of years of stinging you and dying in the process. All to protect a their precious nectar... can't say I blame them.
A spoonful of sugar makes the medicine go down? Well you know what, a spoonful of honey makes EVERYTHING turn around!!!!
Also, you have to think about it in terms of proportion, bees are a lot smaller than humans are. Imagine they were larger, they probably wouldn't die. It's all just a matter of size and the means at your disposal. All to protect their beloved creation, or is it secretion, eh who knows, but I certainly wouldn't sympathize if they were dying to protect their fecal matter. I mean that's just gross. It'd be like a human reaching into the toilet bowl after he/she took a shit and storing it in the freezer, then getting gun license, purchasing a gun, and threatening to shoot themselves if anyone came close to the frozen shit in the freezer.
Well I hope it's their creation, though we create our own shit... Regardless, all this talk about a Jihad for honey has put me in the mood... I'm getting some God Damned honey. Be just like when I was a baby and my mom would pretend the spoon was an airplane flying into my mouth... Good times.
Saturday, November 6, 2010
Good, Honest Research
http://www.asylum.com/2010/09/30/money-for-paid-clinical-research-studies/?icid=main%7Caim%7Cdl7%7Csec1_lnk3%7C176217
I found this a few days ago as it popped up in my news feed. People have actually become lab rats. I don't mean testing and observing lab rats or like working in a lab all day (well they are technically) I mean THE ACTUAL LAB RAT. Also the people who subject themselves to this get paid for it. I didn't look at the actual wages but they don't sound that bad, and you pretty much get to read a book or play video games all day.
What is the drawback you may ask. Well you sign a waiver form that drugs NOT APPROVED by the FDA can used on you. All you have to do is report how it makes you feel. Isn't that awesome. Well I mean aside from the fact that you might feel like you're on fire, or that your face is burning, or that your toes went numb... or that you're tripping acid (not all bad feelings), or that you just had an orgasm (wait, you might have, check).
You might have such an intense experience that you end up having to smoke a cigarette to calm down. On the topic of cigarettes, since marijuana isn't FDA approved for medicinal uses in every state they might ask you to smoke some... good deal!!
Of course there are social drawbacks of the job as well. Anyone you meet who isn't familiar with the idea of being a lab rat for a living may think that you're a junkie with all the needle holes. They might think your anemic if don't stop bleeding... or wonder why you spontaneously sprouted (yes sprouted) freckles.
Oh I forgot to mention one more thing, you really don't get to go outside much since the people researching you want to keep you in an environment where they control the surroundings.
Anyone who plays World Of Warcraft should look into this.
I found this a few days ago as it popped up in my news feed. People have actually become lab rats. I don't mean testing and observing lab rats or like working in a lab all day (well they are technically) I mean THE ACTUAL LAB RAT. Also the people who subject themselves to this get paid for it. I didn't look at the actual wages but they don't sound that bad, and you pretty much get to read a book or play video games all day.
What is the drawback you may ask. Well you sign a waiver form that drugs NOT APPROVED by the FDA can used on you. All you have to do is report how it makes you feel. Isn't that awesome. Well I mean aside from the fact that you might feel like you're on fire, or that your face is burning, or that your toes went numb... or that you're tripping acid (not all bad feelings), or that you just had an orgasm (wait, you might have, check).
You might have such an intense experience that you end up having to smoke a cigarette to calm down. On the topic of cigarettes, since marijuana isn't FDA approved for medicinal uses in every state they might ask you to smoke some... good deal!!
Of course there are social drawbacks of the job as well. Anyone you meet who isn't familiar with the idea of being a lab rat for a living may think that you're a junkie with all the needle holes. They might think your anemic if don't stop bleeding... or wonder why you spontaneously sprouted (yes sprouted) freckles.
Oh I forgot to mention one more thing, you really don't get to go outside much since the people researching you want to keep you in an environment where they control the surroundings.
Anyone who plays World Of Warcraft should look into this.
Sunday, October 31, 2010
A New York happening
Now this is a story of about how my train ride was prolonged, due to a crazy man who insisted on yelling and did not belong, and I'd like to take some time out of your average day, to tell you how it ended in the funniest way. (Fresh Prince of Bel-Air reference :) )
K so I attended an open mic at the venue Spike Hill. It was a great night and I really connected with the audience. I played my songs Chocolate and Dank (both with vocals, hell yes!!). Then I left since I told my friend James that I'd go to his comedy show that started at 9:30. BTW any show at 9:30 means that it probably starts at like 10:00 so I knew I had time. I get on the train and guess what, there's a crazy dude yelling at people on the train. This part didn't surprise me since it is New York. What did surprise me was the fact that the train stalled at Canal Street and several police officers came to our car and talked to the man. They didn't take him out, they just talked to him... and then shut the fucking train doors with him still in the train and no person of authority on-board. Weird, and even weirder since we were about to go over the Manhattan bridge (which takes about 15 minutes).
We get to Dekalb Avenue and the doors open and again the man is approached by people of authority with the train. We're stalled for a few minutes and then they close the doors... with the dude still on the fucking train, just with an MTA official watching him. I'm a little confused at this point and say to one of my fellow passengers randomly, "I don't mind a dude yelling, it happens often, what I don't get is why the fuck did they leave him on the train. Like seriously, take him off?!!" I suppose he wasn't deemed threatening (as I probably would not have deemed him as such either) but the fact is that the Police had already talked to him so he was obviously not to be taken lightly.
Anyway, we get to Atlantic Avenue and this time they finally get him off the train. I see him in being pushed in a wheelchair next to the subway car (you're gonna tell me that no other train station has a fucking wheelchair?! Come on). Anyway the doors shut now with the man off the train and over the LOUDSPEAKER we hear the CONDUCTOR say "Thank you, Lord!" That was beyond cool and we all laughed of course.
I thought this was a great portion of my day and more than worth a blog. Thanks for reading. Definitely, a New York happening.
K so I attended an open mic at the venue Spike Hill. It was a great night and I really connected with the audience. I played my songs Chocolate and Dank (both with vocals, hell yes!!). Then I left since I told my friend James that I'd go to his comedy show that started at 9:30. BTW any show at 9:30 means that it probably starts at like 10:00 so I knew I had time. I get on the train and guess what, there's a crazy dude yelling at people on the train. This part didn't surprise me since it is New York. What did surprise me was the fact that the train stalled at Canal Street and several police officers came to our car and talked to the man. They didn't take him out, they just talked to him... and then shut the fucking train doors with him still in the train and no person of authority on-board. Weird, and even weirder since we were about to go over the Manhattan bridge (which takes about 15 minutes).
We get to Dekalb Avenue and the doors open and again the man is approached by people of authority with the train. We're stalled for a few minutes and then they close the doors... with the dude still on the fucking train, just with an MTA official watching him. I'm a little confused at this point and say to one of my fellow passengers randomly, "I don't mind a dude yelling, it happens often, what I don't get is why the fuck did they leave him on the train. Like seriously, take him off?!!" I suppose he wasn't deemed threatening (as I probably would not have deemed him as such either) but the fact is that the Police had already talked to him so he was obviously not to be taken lightly.
Anyway, we get to Atlantic Avenue and this time they finally get him off the train. I see him in being pushed in a wheelchair next to the subway car (you're gonna tell me that no other train station has a fucking wheelchair?! Come on). Anyway the doors shut now with the man off the train and over the LOUDSPEAKER we hear the CONDUCTOR say "Thank you, Lord!" That was beyond cool and we all laughed of course.
I thought this was a great portion of my day and more than worth a blog. Thanks for reading. Definitely, a New York happening.
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Nano technology, apple computers, disease cures, and widespread pollution
A friend of mine mentioned to me about how Apple Computers set up a medical lab. His thinking was they were investing in nano technology to make a T-Virusesque product which would morph the world into zombies.
Here's my more economic and slightly more optimistic? viewpoint:
Apple set up the medical lab in order to invest in nano technology... Not to turn the world into zombies but to create cures for diseases and human sickness. Forgive my altruism, I saw GI Joe in which nanites were created to to destroy the world, yes, but also to create a way to kill foreign malicious substances that enter the body. In the movie, when the nanites converged upon the malicious substance they proceeded to force it out of the body. Thus, Apple will have created a cure for all diseases and human suffering (at least from bacteria and viruses). If all foreign substances are no longer a problem for human health though, what would be there to stop widespread pollution throughout the globe? Since there is obviously no further health issue at stake for mankind. Nothing. And the world would become a vast landfill in which humans happen to exist.
Now, how, you ask, would the people ever stand for such "environmental cleansing." In GI Joe the nanites ALSO had the power of mind control. The entire population would become a mindless drone and there would be no resistance whatsoever.
Solution: End Apple, Inc. before it is too late and save yourself from the conquest of individuality. Vote Microsoft.
I suppose the more positive take on the "nanite" takeover would be that we turn into a race of The Borg from the Star Trek series. This is positive because (although The Borg are seen as the enemy lacking individuality) it means we'd all share the same mind, but would bring new thoughts to the table and at the same time, choose from among those different thoughts. What does this mean you ask (yes you did ask)? Mental Communism.
I believe it is finally worth noting that I do not take any of this shit seriously at all...
Here's my more economic and slightly more optimistic? viewpoint:
Apple set up the medical lab in order to invest in nano technology... Not to turn the world into zombies but to create cures for diseases and human sickness. Forgive my altruism, I saw GI Joe in which nanites were created to to destroy the world, yes, but also to create a way to kill foreign malicious substances that enter the body. In the movie, when the nanites converged upon the malicious substance they proceeded to force it out of the body. Thus, Apple will have created a cure for all diseases and human suffering (at least from bacteria and viruses). If all foreign substances are no longer a problem for human health though, what would be there to stop widespread pollution throughout the globe? Since there is obviously no further health issue at stake for mankind. Nothing. And the world would become a vast landfill in which humans happen to exist.
Now, how, you ask, would the people ever stand for such "environmental cleansing." In GI Joe the nanites ALSO had the power of mind control. The entire population would become a mindless drone and there would be no resistance whatsoever.
Solution: End Apple, Inc. before it is too late and save yourself from the conquest of individuality. Vote Microsoft.
I suppose the more positive take on the "nanite" takeover would be that we turn into a race of The Borg from the Star Trek series. This is positive because (although The Borg are seen as the enemy lacking individuality) it means we'd all share the same mind, but would bring new thoughts to the table and at the same time, choose from among those different thoughts. What does this mean you ask (yes you did ask)? Mental Communism.
I believe it is finally worth noting that I do not take any of this shit seriously at all...
Friday, October 22, 2010
Status update at the Altar
I was told a few days ago that you can change your facebook relationship status to "married" right when you exchange vows at the altar via an electronic device IN the altar, if you request for that to be available. As a general note to all the women of the world right now: Whoever I am lucky enough to be with come that day, I should warn you NOT to request that arrangement. I will change my facebook status to "single" just to spite you.
We would still be married on paper, and we would still have rings. However, if you make an issue of this it shows that my facebook relationship status is apparently more important to you than a binding legal document with both of our signatures and an official seal stating that the two of us are united together in "holy" matrimony. It says that you value a facebook status more than you do the several-hundred-dollar-rings that we each have on our fingers; AND oh yeah, it says that my relationship status means more to you than the entire ceremony (that I will have composed the music for), which includes the witnesses, gown, and facility which has been paid for by YOUR father to create the ceremony. Think on that if you wanna complain about status updates on such a beautiful day :)
We would still be married on paper, and we would still have rings. However, if you make an issue of this it shows that my facebook relationship status is apparently more important to you than a binding legal document with both of our signatures and an official seal stating that the two of us are united together in "holy" matrimony. It says that you value a facebook status more than you do the several-hundred-dollar-rings that we each have on our fingers; AND oh yeah, it says that my relationship status means more to you than the entire ceremony (that I will have composed the music for), which includes the witnesses, gown, and facility which has been paid for by YOUR father to create the ceremony. Think on that if you wanna complain about status updates on such a beautiful day :)
Thursday, October 21, 2010
SAT's and education
A week or two I attended an open-mic where I had a short discussion with someone who was an SAT tutor. If I remembered his name I'd mention it because his routine onstage was great (it was 7 minutes of cute puns put together in a story format) but I don't so I'll just get to the point.
When I took the SAT's they were still doing the 1600-is-perfect score so he had to explain the dynamics of the new test where apparently 2400 is the new perfect. It is possible that he was simply being pretentious in his description but he explained the concept of the new exam structure through a magic trick (I'm not kidding). He performed the trick, then asked me which hand the quarter that disappeared was in. I answered. He then he showed me the exact same trick, but this time with a nickel. When he asked what hand the nickel was I knew the answer since I'd seen the same trick before, just with a different coin.
This apparently is the concept behind the SAT's now: keep asking the same question in a different way until you answer correctly. He further explained that the test was changed in order to raise the overall score results since those on the 1600 test were embarrassingly low.
It is possible that he just exaggerated the test's simplicity but I don't know. Truth be told I scored a 1010 on the 1600 test so I'm no genius and I'm not afraid to admit it. His demonstration did get me thinking though:
Parents generally want their children to do as well as possible on the SAT's. This is why Kaplan and The Princeton Review were created. Problem is, what if the test is "too hard" and its structure is altered solely to find a backdoor method of getting students to do better overall (as opposed to just improving the schools). What does this say about our educational system?
It's no surprise we have had problems for a while. However, parents and schools are not helping and it seems to be getting cyclically worse: Students have to take the SAT's and their parents want them to do well so that they can get into a good school for a better education. The schooling system looks terrible if students consistently score low as it exposes the flaws in their bureaucracy (everything's a bureaucracy, I'm not complaining about that). Instead of trying to fix this, the way to amend it is to make the test easier and more obvious to take. Here we see a lack of interest in where the problem actually resides, and parents, instead of questioning the schooling system, take measures to help their children do better with the exam's current structure (though that last part isn't too surprising, and not in a bad way). Ultimately, students may do better but in the long run, but the system as a whole is still crap for not doing what's necessary and the problem only grows. We therefore come to a very disturbing query:
Parents, understandably, want their kids to do well in school. What if the schools just don't care?
When I took the SAT's they were still doing the 1600-is-perfect score so he had to explain the dynamics of the new test where apparently 2400 is the new perfect. It is possible that he was simply being pretentious in his description but he explained the concept of the new exam structure through a magic trick (I'm not kidding). He performed the trick, then asked me which hand the quarter that disappeared was in. I answered. He then he showed me the exact same trick, but this time with a nickel. When he asked what hand the nickel was I knew the answer since I'd seen the same trick before, just with a different coin.
This apparently is the concept behind the SAT's now: keep asking the same question in a different way until you answer correctly. He further explained that the test was changed in order to raise the overall score results since those on the 1600 test were embarrassingly low.
It is possible that he just exaggerated the test's simplicity but I don't know. Truth be told I scored a 1010 on the 1600 test so I'm no genius and I'm not afraid to admit it. His demonstration did get me thinking though:
Parents generally want their children to do as well as possible on the SAT's. This is why Kaplan and The Princeton Review were created. Problem is, what if the test is "too hard" and its structure is altered solely to find a backdoor method of getting students to do better overall (as opposed to just improving the schools). What does this say about our educational system?
It's no surprise we have had problems for a while. However, parents and schools are not helping and it seems to be getting cyclically worse: Students have to take the SAT's and their parents want them to do well so that they can get into a good school for a better education. The schooling system looks terrible if students consistently score low as it exposes the flaws in their bureaucracy (everything's a bureaucracy, I'm not complaining about that). Instead of trying to fix this, the way to amend it is to make the test easier and more obvious to take. Here we see a lack of interest in where the problem actually resides, and parents, instead of questioning the schooling system, take measures to help their children do better with the exam's current structure (though that last part isn't too surprising, and not in a bad way). Ultimately, students may do better but in the long run, but the system as a whole is still crap for not doing what's necessary and the problem only grows. We therefore come to a very disturbing query:
Parents, understandably, want their kids to do well in school. What if the schools just don't care?
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Facebook Quizzes (star wars)
I took a facebook quiz recently about which Star Wars character I am. Forget about what character I turned up as for now. My question is, why do they ask you "what flavor of ice cream you prefer?" I mean, questions that actually make sense are "how do you treat your friends?" or "what's more important: money or good and evil?" Of course they ask those but why even bother with your preferred taste in ice cream. My friend Adam explained it to me though and it made sense.
Chocolate= Vader/Han Solo
Vanilla= Luke or Leah (cuz their innocent and vanilla is which resembles purity)
Strawberry= Lando since strawberries are sexy and Lando was suave...
Now it all makes sense... Oh yeah and if you prefer dogs you automatically are Chewie since Wookies from Endore NOT Wookies from Mulduram are fluffy. Very important very important.
Chocolate= Vader/Han Solo
Vanilla= Luke or Leah (cuz their innocent and vanilla is which resembles purity)
Strawberry= Lando since strawberries are sexy and Lando was suave...
Now it all makes sense... Oh yeah and if you prefer dogs you automatically are Chewie since Wookies from Endore NOT Wookies from Mulduram are fluffy. Very important very important.
Sunday, October 17, 2010
clean cities of US
So not too long ago I read an article about what cities in the United States were the cleanest and which were the dirtiest. Factors taken into account in ranking them were air quality, garbage on the street, how green (environmentally conscious) the city was as a whole, city parks, recycling, etc. I honestly don't remember which cities were the cleanest but they didn't surprise me too much.
The dirtiest however only surprised me a little. It was New York. I thought it may have been LA since everyone there drives and there unused public transportation there, if at all. When they explained why it was New York though it made perfect sense but also made me think. There is a shitload of garbage on the street (no shit), and that was of course a factor combined with pollution from cars and whatever else. But the garbage on the street...
Let's think about this for a second, there is a lot of garbage yes, but there are also a lot of homeless people as well. Homeless people who often use garbage, like newspapers and stuff, to keep warm over the winter. If this is the case, and New Yorkers are always just casually discarding of their trash, we may be the dirtiest but we give those homeless people ways to keep warm. Therefore, my conclusion, we are the dirtiest BECAUSE we are the most considerate. For this reason I am damned proud to be a New Yorker. Hell Yeah!!!
The dirtiest however only surprised me a little. It was New York. I thought it may have been LA since everyone there drives and there unused public transportation there, if at all. When they explained why it was New York though it made perfect sense but also made me think. There is a shitload of garbage on the street (no shit), and that was of course a factor combined with pollution from cars and whatever else. But the garbage on the street...
Let's think about this for a second, there is a lot of garbage yes, but there are also a lot of homeless people as well. Homeless people who often use garbage, like newspapers and stuff, to keep warm over the winter. If this is the case, and New Yorkers are always just casually discarding of their trash, we may be the dirtiest but we give those homeless people ways to keep warm. Therefore, my conclusion, we are the dirtiest BECAUSE we are the most considerate. For this reason I am damned proud to be a New Yorker. Hell Yeah!!!
Saturday, October 16, 2010
New Ground
Worked on putting some effects pedal sequences to my song Midnight. I had some stuff written out beforehand but obviously when you get down to it shit is different. The stuff that I wrote was good to start off with so the practicing helped to flesh out ideas. Damn good shit for today Stop Motion rocking it out and prepping for Oct 25 gig. In other news my friend Steve now calls me Stop Lotion...
Friday, October 15, 2010
Manipulation and Disrespect.
I had a discussion on facebook about how some people treat others like shit. This was my contribution (truth be told I just copied and pasted this from the discussion, but it was all one comment, written by me, is just as truthful, and I thought it was worth blogging about).
Women and men tend to have different insecurities just based on their chemical makeup. Lets leave seduction out of this because that's a whole other story. If assholes or bitches get women or men, it's because they know what insecurities to play on and how to manipulate members of the opposite sex. Same goes for a woman who treats a man like shit. Generally if a man is in a relationship (and is serious about it) he will try to make the woman feel better about herself if they are upset. That's how I see it and the same goes for a caring woman with her man. It all depends on how insecure and caring the male and the female are of themselves and each other. When we're young, EVERYONE is very insecure. Finding that insecurity is key, then you exploit it, and you have someone at your beck and call. Personally, I can't stand it when either sex does this to their significant other. But I do find their behaviors fascinating, and for that reason I hung around them to figure out what seems to make them tick. I'm dark I know :)
Women and men tend to have different insecurities just based on their chemical makeup. Lets leave seduction out of this because that's a whole other story. If assholes or bitches get women or men, it's because they know what insecurities to play on and how to manipulate members of the opposite sex. Same goes for a woman who treats a man like shit. Generally if a man is in a relationship (and is serious about it) he will try to make the woman feel better about herself if they are upset. That's how I see it and the same goes for a caring woman with her man. It all depends on how insecure and caring the male and the female are of themselves and each other. When we're young, EVERYONE is very insecure. Finding that insecurity is key, then you exploit it, and you have someone at your beck and call. Personally, I can't stand it when either sex does this to their significant other. But I do find their behaviors fascinating, and for that reason I hung around them to figure out what seems to make them tick. I'm dark I know :)
Lady Gaga's new fashion statement
So I don't think it's news to anyone that Lady Gaga prides herself on her fashion sense, and many tween girls subsequently want to copy her dress codes (ironic use of the term, but whatever). Whether you like her fashion choices, or her outrageous get-ups, you she certainly can see that she does know how to draw attention to herself. She's definitely a good businesswoman, and I'll proudly admit that I think her music is catchy and well-written. That said I was laying in bed one night and the thought came into my head, "lady gaga gets a bruise on her thigh."
Now here's a thought, she could obviously use makeup to cover the bruise, or she could use the bruise to create an interesting body art design (which someone would no doubt end up tattooing on themselves, all because the bitch can't take a punch). What if though, she had a masochistic epiphany (which is right up her alley anyway): Instead of covering up the bruise with makeup, or expanding upon it... what if she just decided to amputate the entire leg?
Of course, she'd have trouble walking, but then she could just ad to her fashion sense by incorporating a cane (probably custom designed as a giant penis knowing her). She'd be a one-legged rock star who calls it fashion. Would the tweens copy her then? Complain to their mothers, and probably some mothers would concede letting them cut it off to show support for their child's dreams and interests (if you've ever regretted a tattoo when you were 50, damn).
For some strange reason it really doesn't seem to far fetched to think about. What do you think? What do you think someone with polio might think?!!!
Now here's a thought, she could obviously use makeup to cover the bruise, or she could use the bruise to create an interesting body art design (which someone would no doubt end up tattooing on themselves, all because the bitch can't take a punch). What if though, she had a masochistic epiphany (which is right up her alley anyway): Instead of covering up the bruise with makeup, or expanding upon it... what if she just decided to amputate the entire leg?
Of course, she'd have trouble walking, but then she could just ad to her fashion sense by incorporating a cane (probably custom designed as a giant penis knowing her). She'd be a one-legged rock star who calls it fashion. Would the tweens copy her then? Complain to their mothers, and probably some mothers would concede letting them cut it off to show support for their child's dreams and interests (if you've ever regretted a tattoo when you were 50, damn).
For some strange reason it really doesn't seem to far fetched to think about. What do you think? What do you think someone with polio might think?!!!
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Christine O'Donnell
So I just saw a video of SNL's satire ad with Christine O'Donnell insisting that she's not a witch. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2mUn2c_PKho Here's what I don't get: Why didn't the Tea Party activists, ultra-conservative in their ideals, burn her at the stake upon first hearing ANYTHING of her dark and devilish past. How could they have ever supported someone of her kind, and continue to support her, now that they know the truth?!! What is this country coming to?!! Up until now I really thought that the Tea Party was onto something but this really makes me rethink my position. That's it... I'm officially voting for Nader again... Truth be told I gave them the benefit of the doubt when they said that Obama was a Nazi, even though it's quite obvious that he's black... Now though, who knows... I'm just glad 2012 is real.
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Carter's Affair
Spoiler alert: Family Guy was amazing tonight. I honestly wasn't sure if it had lost it's edge. The hour-long season premiere murder mystery was charming but overall mediocre based on their track record. Not enough spontaneity. But it was just a fluke I suppose cuz this week was excellent. Based largely around Peter (as it should be), the episode included a limo-joust (which topped the hummer scene from the episode with Superstore USA), it introduced the catchphrase "If you have a problem tell it to my butt... cuz he's the only one that gives a crap," lastly it made a slow 40s-era jazz ballad version of the song The Bird Is The Word. Could I ask for anything more? ::shakes head:: Uh uh :)
Monday, October 11, 2010
Hepatitis Q?
I was at an open mic a few days ago and one of the comics on stage at one point mentioned that someone would get all the Hepatitis strains. All the way from A to Z. This made me wonder... Is there a Hepatitis Q? I mean it strikes me as that would be the funniest name for a disease ever... probably the strangest sounding letter of the alphabet, and the most useless because it just sounds like a "K" and it can't exist without being followed by a "U." It's as useless as a penny these days.
Even better is you could make a joke about it if it really is a strain and use it as a pick-up line on that pretty lady. Just shave a circle out of your pubes and then go up to a girl and say "Hey Babe, I got that Hepatitis Q. I know YOU wanna feel it." Ya never know :)
Even better is you could make a joke about it if it really is a strain and use it as a pick-up line on that pretty lady. Just shave a circle out of your pubes and then go up to a girl and say "Hey Babe, I got that Hepatitis Q. I know YOU wanna feel it." Ya never know :)
Sunday, October 10, 2010
Trip to DC Entry 2
To continue with my discussion of my recent trip to DC. It was an amazing day. I have photos now to post from the trip. The bus ride was about 4 or 5 hours and we arrived at around 1. From there we went from the parking lot to the metro (DC speak for Subway) and then we took the metro about 7 stops in to a station I can't recall the name of. No big deal though because we were meeting up with people who had already secured a spot... RIGHT BETWEEN THE LINCOLN MEMORIAL AND THE REFLECTING POOL... can you say connections (and people who have initiative to leave earlier) rock :) I can. 
We arrived at that spot at around 2:30 and it killed. The rally would last until 4. So I was a part of history, had a great spot, and was only in the sun for about an hour and a half. Good deal in my eyes. Btw, here's shot of the reflecting pool to give an idea of just where I was. 
I couldn't have asked for a better spot. Also by that point a lot of the attendees had left so there was a lot of breathing room. Why did we get there so late you might ask... blame the bus driver :D Also, this is something I saw in the end of the rally which I just shit myself from seeing. As usual there are always protesters (at a rally, wow that's original) lol. Anyway this lady was protesting privatized health insurance in a very unique way. Check it out: 
All in all this day kicked ass.
We arrived at that spot at around 2:30 and it killed. The rally would last until 4. So I was a part of history, had a great spot, and was only in the sun for about an hour and a half. Good deal in my eyes. Btw, here's shot of the reflecting pool to give an idea of just where I was. I couldn't have asked for a better spot. Also by that point a lot of the attendees had left so there was a lot of breathing room. Why did we get there so late you might ask... blame the bus driver :D Also, this is something I saw in the end of the rally which I just shit myself from seeing. As usual there are always protesters (at a rally, wow that's original) lol. Anyway this lady was protesting privatized health insurance in a very unique way. Check it out: All in all this day kicked ass.
The Game
I just lost "the game" again. As a general note to the public, anyone who plays "the game" is a moron. It is the dumbest thing ever conceived and if you play it you are the reason why our species is devolving. Better games can be soccer, basketball, baseball, and football where there is actually a BALL involved and there are rules that don't penalize you when you think about said game, and I don't even like sports much.
For those of you who think this is the playa game... That's not what I'm referring to (that one's cool). The "game" I'm referring to is that game where someone says to you "are you thinking about the game?" and when you say "huh? oh, damn it" you lose, because you just thought about it. That game. If you have never heard of it consider yourself fortunate since it is more obnoxious than the figuring out when the letter Y is a vowel and when it is not.
For those of you who think this is the playa game... That's not what I'm referring to (that one's cool). The "game" I'm referring to is that game where someone says to you "are you thinking about the game?" and when you say "huh? oh, damn it" you lose, because you just thought about it. That game. If you have never heard of it consider yourself fortunate since it is more obnoxious than the figuring out when the letter Y is a vowel and when it is not.
Friday, October 8, 2010
Trains stations will get wifi soon... yay?
http://www.nydailynews.com/ny_local/2010/10/04/2010-10-04_six_subway_stations_to_get_wifi_in_months_the_rest_to_follow_soon_says_mta_boss_.html
Okay, I have no problem whatsoever with wifi in the trains it's nice to have service in a tunnel sometimes. However, when it comes at the cost of cutting service or a raised transit fare I really don't mind not being able to use the internet or talk to a friend. Let's see $100+ for a monthly metrocard, lesser service, but I can talk in the train; OR 89 bucks for a monthly metrocard and I have to maybe MEET SOMEONE on a train instead of use a brain microwave. Yeah I think I'll choose the 89 dollar option.
"For too long the subway system has been an information black hole in our lives," Walder said in a statement. (from article in link)
In response to that quote, I disagree, I like atmosphere of the train. Email doesn't get so drastic in 20 minutes usually that it's irreversible. Also it seems as though the service will, for now, not extend into the tunnels and will just be in the stations. That's kind of a cock-tease.
Okay, I have no problem whatsoever with wifi in the trains it's nice to have service in a tunnel sometimes. However, when it comes at the cost of cutting service or a raised transit fare I really don't mind not being able to use the internet or talk to a friend. Let's see $100+ for a monthly metrocard, lesser service, but I can talk in the train; OR 89 bucks for a monthly metrocard and I have to maybe MEET SOMEONE on a train instead of use a brain microwave. Yeah I think I'll choose the 89 dollar option.
"For too long the subway system has been an information black hole in our lives," Walder said in a statement. (from article in link)
In response to that quote, I disagree, I like atmosphere of the train. Email doesn't get so drastic in 20 minutes usually that it's irreversible. Also it seems as though the service will, for now, not extend into the tunnels and will just be in the stations. That's kind of a cock-tease.
Promoting and such
Played a great set at R Bar in Manhattan tonight on the bowery, and I look forward to gigging there soon. Midnight and Push were the songs I played. Been a while since I did the electrics. Felt good though.
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Trip to DC entry 1
So I attended a rally in Washington DC today for union workers and to keep jobs in America. Crazy day but lots of fun. Had to catch a 5 A.M. bus that ended up leaving at 6:30 and I took catnaps all the way to the capital and then jammed for a little out there. George Clinton also showed… but they pulled his mic cuz he cursed?
Great turnout and we were lucky enough to be right between the Lincoln Memorial and the Reflecting Pool. I couldn’t think of a better nesting place for protest.
Great turnout and we were lucky enough to be right between the Lincoln Memorial and the Reflecting Pool. I couldn’t think of a better nesting place for protest.
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Promotion by performance
Played a great set at R Bar in Manhattan where I hope to be gigging soon. Midnight and Push were the songs I performed and the nostalgia was wonderful. Been a while since I did the electrics. Felt good though.
Monday, October 4, 2010
Blogging
So I decided randomly last night "How about I create an account for myself at every blogging site on the net." Well I went through with it and have a blog at tumblr, wordpress, this one, and live journal. Okay so maybe it's not all of them but my brain is tired of doing the same "data paperwork" over and over again. Terms of use, check, my name in every fucking one of them, an account name, check, soon they'll start asking for blood type and the ratio of white blood cells to nanites in my body. Make sure tumblr and accept their feeds, it's so damned repetitive. Now I'm done. Post one here finished and time to start blogging.
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