A New York happening

Now this is a story of about how my train ride was prolonged, due to a crazy man who insisted on yelling and did not belong, and I'd like to take some time out of your average day, to tell you how it ended in the funniest way.  (Fresh Prince of Bel-Air reference :) )

K so I attended an open mic at the venue Spike Hill.  It was a great night and I really connected with the audience.  I played my songs Chocolate and Dank (both with vocals, hell yes!!).  Then I left since I told my friend James that I'd go to his comedy show that started at 9:30.  BTW any show at 9:30 means that it probably starts at like 10:00 so I knew I had time.  I get on the train and guess what, there's a crazy dude yelling at people on the train.  This part didn't surprise me since it is New York.  What did surprise me was the fact that the train stalled at Canal Street and several police officers came to our car and talked to the man.  They didn't take him out, they just talked to him... and then shut the fucking train doors with him still in the train and no person of authority on-board.  Weird, and even weirder since we were about to go over the Manhattan bridge (which takes about 15 minutes).

We get to Dekalb Avenue and the doors open and again the man is approached by people of authority with the train.  We're stalled for a few minutes and then they close the doors... with the dude still on the fucking train, just with an MTA official watching him.  I'm a little confused at this point and say to one of my fellow passengers randomly, "I don't mind a dude yelling, it happens often, what I don't get is why the fuck did they leave him on the train.  Like seriously, take him off?!!"  I suppose he wasn't deemed threatening (as I probably would not have deemed him as such either) but the fact is that the Police had already talked to him so he was obviously not to be taken lightly.

Anyway, we get to Atlantic Avenue and this time they finally get him off the train.  I see him in being pushed in a wheelchair next to the subway car (you're gonna tell me that no other train station has a fucking wheelchair?!  Come on).  Anyway the doors shut now with the man off the train and over the LOUDSPEAKER we hear the CONDUCTOR say "Thank you, Lord!"  That was beyond cool and we all laughed of course.

I thought this was a great portion of my day and more than worth a blog.  Thanks for reading.  Definitely, a New York happening.

Nano technology, apple computers, disease cures, and widespread pollution

A friend of mine mentioned to me about how Apple Computers set up a medical lab.  His thinking was they were investing in nano technology to make a T-Virusesque product which would morph the world into zombies.

Here's my more economic and slightly more optimistic? viewpoint:
Apple set up the medical lab in order to invest in nano technology... Not to turn the world into zombies but to create cures for diseases and human sickness.  Forgive my altruism, I saw GI Joe in which nanites were created to to destroy the world, yes, but also to create a way to kill foreign malicious substances that enter the body.  In the movie, when the nanites converged upon the malicious substance they proceeded to force it out of the body.  Thus, Apple will have created a cure for all diseases and human suffering (at least from bacteria and viruses).  If all foreign substances are no longer a problem for human health though, what would be there to stop widespread pollution throughout the globe?  Since there is obviously no further health issue at stake for mankind.  Nothing.  And the world would become a vast landfill in which humans happen to exist.

Now, how, you ask, would the people ever stand for such "environmental cleansing."  In GI Joe the nanites ALSO had the power of mind control.  The entire population would become a mindless drone and there would be no resistance whatsoever.

Solution: End Apple, Inc. before it is too late and save yourself from the conquest of individuality.  Vote Microsoft.

I suppose the more positive take on the "nanite" takeover would be that we turn into a race of The Borg from the Star Trek series.  This is positive because (although The Borg are seen as the enemy lacking individuality) it means we'd all share the same mind, but would bring new thoughts to the table and at the same time, choose from among those different thoughts.  What does this mean you ask (yes you did ask)?  Mental Communism.

I believe it is finally worth noting that I do not take any of this shit seriously at all...

Status update at the Altar

I was told a few days ago that you can change your facebook relationship status to "married" right when you exchange vows at the altar via an electronic device IN the altar, if you request for that to be available.  As a general note to all the women of the world right now:  Whoever I am lucky enough to be with come that day, I should warn you NOT to request that arrangement.  I will change my facebook status to "single" just to spite you. 

We would still be married on paper, and we would still have rings.  However, if you make an issue of this it shows that my facebook relationship status is apparently more important to you than a binding legal document with both of our signatures and an official seal stating that the two of us are united together in "holy" matrimony.  It says that you value a facebook status more than you do the several-hundred-dollar-rings that we each have on our fingers; AND oh yeah, it says that my relationship status means more to you than the entire ceremony (that I will have composed the music for), which includes the witnesses, gown, and facility which has been paid for by YOUR father to create the ceremony.  Think on that if you wanna complain about status updates on such a beautiful day :)

SAT's and education

A week or two I attended an open-mic where I had a short discussion with someone who was an SAT tutor.  If I remembered his name I'd mention it because his routine onstage was great (it was 7 minutes of cute puns put together in a story format) but I don't so I'll just get to the point.

When I took the SAT's they were still doing the 1600-is-perfect score so he had to explain the dynamics of the new test where apparently 2400 is the new perfect.  It is possible that he was simply being pretentious in his description but he explained the concept of the new exam structure through a magic trick (I'm not kidding).  He performed the trick, then asked me which hand the quarter that disappeared was in.  I answered.  He then he showed me the exact same trick, but this time with a nickel.  When he asked what hand the nickel was I knew the answer since I'd seen the same trick before, just with a different coin.

This apparently is the concept behind the SAT's now: keep asking the same question in a different way until you answer correctly.  He further explained that the test was changed in order to raise the overall score results since those on the 1600 test were embarrassingly low.

It is possible that he just exaggerated the test's simplicity but I don't know.  Truth be told I scored a 1010 on the 1600 test so I'm no genius and I'm not afraid to admit it.  His demonstration did get me thinking though:

Parents generally want their children to do as well as possible on the SAT's.  This is why Kaplan and The Princeton Review were created.  Problem is, what if the test is "too hard" and its structure is altered solely to find a backdoor method of getting students to do better overall (as opposed to just improving the schools).  What does this say about our educational system?

It's no surprise we have had problems for a while.  However, parents and schools are not helping and it seems to be getting cyclically worse: Students have to take the SAT's and their parents want them to do well so that they can get into a good school for a better education.  The schooling system looks terrible if students consistently score low as it exposes the flaws in their bureaucracy (everything's a bureaucracy, I'm not complaining about that).  Instead of trying to fix this, the way to amend it is to make the test easier and more obvious to take.  Here we see a lack of interest in where the problem actually resides, and parents, instead of questioning the schooling system, take measures to help their children do better with the exam's current structure (though that last part isn't too surprising, and not in a bad way).  Ultimately, students may do better but in the long run, but the system as a whole is still crap for not doing what's necessary and the problem only grows.  We therefore come to a very disturbing query:

Parents, understandably, want their kids to do well in school.  What if the schools just don't care?

Facebook Quizzes (star wars)

I took a facebook quiz recently about which Star Wars character I am.  Forget about what character I turned up as for now.  My question is, why do they ask you "what flavor of ice cream you prefer?"  I mean, questions that actually make sense are "how do you treat your friends?" or "what's more important: money or good and evil?"  Of course they ask those but why even bother with your preferred taste in ice cream.  My friend Adam explained it to me though and it made sense.

Chocolate= Vader/Han Solo
Vanilla= Luke or Leah (cuz their innocent and vanilla is which resembles purity)
Strawberry= Lando since strawberries are sexy and Lando was suave...

Now it all makes sense... Oh yeah and if you prefer dogs you automatically are Chewie since Wookies from Endore NOT Wookies from Mulduram are fluffy.  Very important very important.

clean cities of US

So not too long ago I read an article about what cities in the United States were the cleanest and which were the dirtiest.  Factors taken into account in ranking them were air quality, garbage on the street, how green (environmentally conscious) the city was as a whole, city parks, recycling, etc.  I honestly don't remember which cities were the cleanest but they didn't surprise me too much.

The dirtiest however only surprised me a little.  It was New York.  I thought it may have been LA since everyone there drives and there unused public transportation there, if at all.  When they explained why it was New York though it made perfect sense but also made me think.  There is a shitload of garbage on the street (no shit), and that was of course a factor combined with pollution from cars and whatever else.  But the garbage on the street...

Let's think about this for a second, there is a lot of garbage yes, but there are also a lot of homeless people as well.  Homeless people who often use garbage, like newspapers and stuff, to keep warm over the winter.  If this is the case, and New Yorkers are always just casually discarding of their trash, we may be the dirtiest but we give those homeless people ways to keep warm.  Therefore, my conclusion, we are the dirtiest BECAUSE we are the most considerate.  For this reason I am damned proud to be a New Yorker.   Hell Yeah!!!

New Ground

Worked on putting some effects pedal sequences to my song Midnight.  I had some stuff written out beforehand but obviously when you get down to it shit is different.  The stuff that I wrote was good to start off with so the practicing helped to flesh out ideas.  Damn good shit for today Stop Motion rocking it out and prepping for Oct 25 gig.  In other news my friend Steve now calls me Stop Lotion...

Manipulation and Disrespect.

I had a discussion on facebook about how some people treat others like shit.  This was my contribution (truth be told I just copied and pasted this from the discussion, but it was all one comment, written by me, is just as truthful, and I thought it was worth blogging about).

Women and men tend to have different insecurities just based on their chemical makeup. Lets leave seduction out of this because that's a whole other story. If assholes or bitches get women or men, it's because they know what insecurities to play on and how to manipulate members of the opposite sex. Same goes for a woman who treats a man like shit. Generally if a man is in a relationship (and is serious about it) he will try to make the woman feel better about herself if they are upset. That's how I see it and the same goes for a caring woman with her man. It all depends on how insecure and caring the male and the female are of themselves and each other. When we're young, EVERYONE is very insecure. Finding that insecurity is key, then you exploit it, and you have someone at your beck and call. Personally, I can't stand it when either sex does this to their significant other. But I do find their behaviors fascinating, and for that reason I hung around them to figure out what seems to make them tick. I'm dark I know :)

Lady Gaga's new fashion statement

So I don't think it's news to anyone that Lady Gaga prides herself on her fashion sense, and many tween girls subsequently want to copy her dress codes (ironic use of the term, but whatever).  Whether you like her fashion choices, or her outrageous get-ups, you she certainly can see that she does know how to draw attention to herself.  She's definitely a good businesswoman, and I'll proudly admit that I think her music is catchy and well-written.  That said I was laying in bed one night and the thought came into my head, "lady gaga gets a bruise on her thigh."

Now here's a thought, she could obviously use makeup to cover the bruise, or she could use the bruise to create an interesting body art design (which someone would no doubt end up tattooing on themselves, all because the bitch can't take a punch).  What if though, she had a masochistic epiphany (which is right up her alley anyway):  Instead of covering up the bruise with makeup, or expanding upon it... what if she just decided to amputate the entire leg?

Of course, she'd have trouble walking, but then she could just ad to her fashion sense by incorporating a cane (probably custom designed as a giant penis knowing her).  She'd be a one-legged rock star who calls it fashion.  Would the tweens copy her then?  Complain to their mothers, and probably some mothers would concede letting them cut it off to show support for their child's dreams and interests (if you've ever regretted a tattoo when you were 50, damn).

For some strange reason it really doesn't seem to far fetched to think about.  What do you think?  What do you think someone with polio might think?!!!

Christine O'Donnell

So I just saw a video of SNL's satire ad with Christine O'Donnell insisting that she's not a witch. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2mUn2c_PKho Here's what I don't get: Why didn't the Tea Party activists, ultra-conservative in their ideals, burn her at the stake upon first hearing ANYTHING of her dark and devilish past.  How could they have ever supported someone of her kind, and continue to support her, now that they know the truth?!!  What is this country coming to?!!  Up until now I really thought that the Tea Party was onto something but this really makes me rethink my position.  That's it... I'm officially voting for Nader again... Truth be told I gave them the benefit of the doubt when they said that Obama was a Nazi, even though it's quite obvious that he's black... Now though, who knows... I'm just glad 2012 is real.

Carter's Affair

Spoiler alert: Family Guy was amazing tonight.  I honestly wasn't sure if it had lost it's edge.  The hour-long season premiere murder mystery was charming but overall mediocre based on their track record.  Not enough spontaneity.  But it was just a fluke I suppose cuz this week was excellent.  Based largely around Peter (as it should be), the episode included a limo-joust (which topped the hummer scene from the episode with Superstore USA), it introduced the catchphrase "If you have a problem tell it to my butt... cuz he's the only one that gives a crap," lastly it made a slow 40s-era jazz ballad version of the song The Bird Is The Word.  Could I ask for anything more?  ::shakes head:: Uh uh :)

Hepatitis Q?

I was at an open mic a few days ago and one of the comics on stage at one point mentioned that someone would get all the Hepatitis strains.  All the way from A to Z.  This made me wonder... Is there a Hepatitis Q?  I mean it strikes me as that would be the funniest name for a disease ever... probably the strangest sounding letter of the alphabet, and the most useless because it just sounds like a "K" and it can't exist without being followed by a "U."  It's as useless as a penny these days.

Even better is you could make a joke about it if it really is a strain and use it as a pick-up line on that pretty lady.  Just shave a circle out of your pubes and then go up to a girl and say "Hey Babe, I got that Hepatitis Q.  I know YOU wanna feel it."  Ya never know :)

Trip to DC Entry 2

To continue with my discussion of my recent trip to DC. It was an amazing day. I have photos now to post from the trip. The bus ride was about 4 or 5 hours and we arrived at around 1. From there we went from the parking lot to the metro (DC speak for Subway) and then we took the metro about 7 stops in to a station I can't recall the name of. No big deal though because we were meeting up with people who had already secured a spot... RIGHT BETWEEN THE LINCOLN MEMORIAL AND THE REFLECTING POOL... can you say connections (and people who have initiative to leave earlier) rock :) I can. We arrived at that spot at around 2:30 and it killed. The rally would last until 4. So I was a part of history, had a great spot, and was only in the sun for about an hour and a half. Good deal in my eyes. Btw, here's shot of the reflecting pool to give an idea of just where I was. I couldn't have asked for a better spot. Also by that point a lot of the attendees had left so there was a lot of breathing room. Why did we get there so late you might ask... blame the bus driver :D Also, this is something I saw in the end of the rally which I just shit myself from seeing. As usual there are always protesters (at a rally, wow that's original) lol. Anyway this lady was protesting privatized health insurance in a very unique way. Check it out: All in all this day kicked ass.

The Game

I just lost "the game" again. As a general note to the public, anyone who plays "the game" is a moron.  It is the dumbest thing ever conceived and if you play it you are the reason why our species is devolving.  Better games can be soccer, basketball, baseball, and football where there is actually a BALL involved and there are rules that don't penalize you when you think about said game, and I don't even like sports much.

For those of you who think this is the playa game... That's not what I'm referring to (that one's cool).  The "game" I'm referring to is that game where someone says to you "are you thinking about the game?" and when you say "huh? oh, damn it" you lose, because you just thought about it.  That game.  If you have never heard of it consider yourself fortunate since it is more obnoxious than the figuring out when the letter Y is a vowel and when it is not.

Trains stations will get wifi soon... yay?

http://www.nydailynews.com/ny_local/2010/10/04/2010-10-04_six_subway_stations_to_get_wifi_in_months_the_rest_to_follow_soon_says_mta_boss_.html

Okay, I have no problem whatsoever with wifi in the trains it's nice to have service in a tunnel sometimes. However, when it comes at the cost of cutting service or a raised transit fare I really don't mind not being able to use the internet or talk to a friend. Let's see $100+ for a monthly metrocard, lesser service, but I can talk in the train; OR 89 bucks for a monthly metrocard and I have to maybe MEET SOMEONE on a train instead of use a brain microwave. Yeah I think I'll choose the 89 dollar option.

"For too long the subway system has been an information black hole in our lives," Walder said in a statement. (from article in link)

In response to that quote, I disagree, I like atmosphere of the train. Email doesn't get so drastic in 20 minutes usually that it's irreversible. Also it seems as though the service will, for now, not extend into the tunnels and will just be in the stations. That's kind of a cock-tease.

Promoting and such

Played a great set at R Bar in Manhattan tonight on the bowery, and I look forward to gigging there soon.  Midnight and Push were the songs I played.  Been a while since I did the electrics.  Felt good though.

Trip to DC entry 1

So I attended a rally in Washington DC today for union workers and to keep jobs in America.  Crazy day but lots of fun.  Had to catch a 5 A.M. bus that ended up leaving at 6:30 and I took catnaps all the way to the capital and then jammed for a little out there.  George Clinton also showed… but they pulled his mic cuz he cursed?

Great turnout and we were lucky enough to be right between the Lincoln Memorial and the Reflecting Pool.  I couldn’t think of a better nesting place for protest.

Promotion by performance

Played a great set at R Bar in Manhattan where I hope to be gigging soon.  Midnight and Push were the songs I performed and the nostalgia was wonderful.  Been a while since I did the electrics.  Felt good though.

Blogging

So I decided randomly last night "How about I create an account for myself at every blogging site on the net."  Well I went through with it and have a blog at tumblr, wordpress, this one, and live journal.  Okay so maybe it's not all of them but my brain is tired of doing the same "data paperwork" over and over again.  Terms of use, check, my name in every fucking one of them, an account name, check, soon they'll start asking for blood type and the ratio of white blood cells to nanites in my body.  Make sure tumblr and accept their feeds, it's so damned repetitive.  Now I'm done.  Post one here finished and time to start blogging.